The POMC Series: A Partner's Perspective

Hello everybody!

Earlier this week myself and Simon celebrated our 3 year anniversary of our relationship together, there have been many ups and downs in our relationship but we truly love each other and I wanted to take this opportunity to develop a post that I've been meaning to do for a long time. When I started this blog Simon asked me how he could help. This is his contribution, he has chosen to write and article for the blog outlining what it is like being in a relationship with someone who has a genetic obesity condition, and I myself could not be more grateful and proud of him. I hope you all enjoy his perspective and the next instalment of The POMC Series. Here goes...

"When a person is born into the world, they never have a choice in the cards they hold. Hair colour, the colour of ones eyes, even down to their individual personalities, nobody ever gets their say on what they want. This is no exception when it comes down to medical issues, issues that can be, or is, the bane of our existence. Personally, Asthma is my Achilles heel, one which has affected my whole life (Thank you, asthma!) yet it is a condition which I will never hope to submit to. However, there are some people in this life who really suffer much more that what we could ever comprehend, ones which we could never hope to understand unless we walk in their shoes. This post aims to shed a perspective in the life of my long-term partner, Katherine Simpson. 

The first, and best, picture I ever saw of this gorgeous woman

Me and Katy (her preferred name) have met under weird circumstances but we have that chemistry that just simply took off. No idea how she puts up with my randomness but that’s respect for you! We have had many dates out, however, it wasn’t long until I noticed problems with the way Katy was walking. She needed to stop on occasion and this only escalated the more I’ve been with her. Katy mentioned early early in our relationship that she suffered from POMC, Lordosis and a very unique genetic coding which is beyond my understanding. I have attended multiple doctors appointments and assessments as support and even medical professionals struggle with understanding what really makes Katy tick.

From my understanding, Katy suffers from a what-do-you-ma-call-it genetic deficiency in which her metabolism is permanently off. Because the body assumes that it is starving, fat is biologically formed and stored as a back-up energy source, not a great understanding as I mentioned but I wanted to write this without Katy giving me any direction so as to you you all what I see of this condtion. Due to this nature, the body can never truly function properly and this causes Katy to go up in weight. Newcastle RVI and Addenbrooks, Cambridge, are able to explain to a degree, and its such a difficult thing knowing that the one you love do dearly is not able to get treatment or help for an awful condition. Operations, some drugs and even gym has not worked; I can attest to how hard this sweet woman works, only changing shape but not losing weight whatsoever. I have experienced Katy suffer from an ovarian cyst which further compounds how much exercise and activities she can participate in. It is so upsetting to listen to your partner apologise for being who they are, because a medical condition stops them doing things they they desperately want to. 

Personally, I encourage Katy to the best of my abilities to rest and take breaks, yet she always felt guilty that she cannot have a normal life like everybody else in society. Memories with her are much better than distance she can walk and I have bad  short term memory anyway so there is no likelihood I would remember how far we travel anyway! Walking around places like Newcastle and the Metrocentre has always been a struggle, 10 minutes of walking puts a huge strain on her back, legs and pelvis. She is always hungry and finds it very difficult to manage that, she can eat a bigger portion than me and be hungry again minutes later as if she has never eaten at all!, any deviations can physically knock her sick. This is a medical attribute which I am wholly in the dark about and I am still learning more each day. 

I do feel empathy that Katy, no matter how much effort she tries, will just continually struggle. As her supportive partner, we will fight tooth-and-nail for medical and practical solutions but there are very limited channels open. Aspects of our life together have been negatively affected, I can’t express the pain you feel when you are walking down the street, hand-in-hand, with a woman you see as truly beautiful when she gets some disgusting comments shouted at her from afar. You want to go up to them and tell them the whole story but some individuals do not comprehend other individuals circumstances. Because of this, Katy’s confidence with being around others is shot; I wish she could see herself as the beautiful woman I see her as. A medical condition should be no reason whatsoever to make people feel isolated from the rest of modern society. Despite the medical flaws, her conditions does not own her, she aims to own it!!

One of our best nights together at Russell Howard

When I first met Katherine, it was a first for being with someone with such debilitating medical conditions. I was petrified when her cyst flared up two years ago, now I’m so relaxed she jokes that I’m too relaxed! Truth is, If I cannot compose myself to be of help, I should not be a lover at all. I am not size-ist so I do not judge on weight. However, I have have learnt so much about her and myself throughout the three years of us being together. I have adapted to Katy’s needs and as long as we make preparations, we still enjoy days out, even with back pains and struggles and my asthma! My general rule of thumb on looking after people is this;

• Whoever it is you are with, Love them 120%. Yeah, time management is hard, yet, everyone cares for their love. The addition of unorthodox medical conditions are no exception.

• Always keep calm. Managing tasks and looking after Katy is challenging but we always got there in the end. Patience can be low but do not snap and always try and communicate.

• Never go in a relationship if you are not willing to commit. A no-brainer, this one!

• Take time to understand your partner and what makes them tick. They will undoubtedly feel uncomfortable with themselves and they are humans too. No different to the rest of us!

• People can be abusive, what do they contribute to life anyway? You and your partner will be 100% better people than what bullies will ever be. 

People are still people, those with these medical conditions challenge life in hardcore mode, only strong souls can cope, I don’t believe things in life are given to you unless someone, somewhere knows you can cope. Katy copes so well. It is a strain on our relationship at times because I just want to help her but I know I am limited, if I could wave a wand and change things for her I would. Anybody who cares for someone with a long-term condition who loves them would change it for them. The only thing I can suggest for those living with, caring for and loving people with genetic obesity is be there for them and love them and make amazing memories with them, because just like everyone else on the planet, people with genetic obesity conditions are still people and I will always love my amazing partner and accept her for who she is."

By Simon Steel

And there you have it. My wonderful partner wrote those beautiful words as he writes everything else in his life, with passion and meaning. I hope you all found this post enjoyable and enlightening, I am off to give my fella a massive cuddle!

Katy xx

100th Post - Appreciation and Thanks

Hi everybody!

Image from google

I hope you're all doing well today and making the most of your Monday. So today's post is my 100th post on this blog! It seems to have gone by so quickly and I've had the best time so far writing posts and putting out content for you guys. When I decided to shift the purpose of this blog up a little I knew I would be keeping up the lifestyle aspects and some other aspects of the blog previously but it would be more heavily intertwined with raising awareness for POMC as you all know. Since that shift the reception of this blog, the support I've received from all of my amazing readers has been amazing and I've been able to make some lovely new friends from all around the world!!
I was terrified of the reception I would get by telling my story but I knew how important it would be for all of the other people out there who are either struggling with their weight, long-term condition of genetic obesity conditions, and I am astounded everyday of love love and support given, I've been able to help many people, my email has been relatively non stop since last year! Please keep them coming if you have any questions or want more information please ask, as I always say every little helps in the way of raising awareness for so many misunderstood, heavily stigmatised and awful genetic obesity disorders. 
I thought I thought I would share with you some of the amazing things I have had the opportunity to get involved in thanks to this blog and so many supportive people around the world!

My Invisible Disabilities and Disorders
Community as UoS!

• Took part in an interview with a journalist from the University of Sunderland - nothing came of said interview which was hurtful but still it was a great experience to take part in that I am glad I agreed to.
• Met with the, then, president of the Student's Union to help set pans into motion of a day of rooting awareness for genetic obesity conditions as the University of Sunderland. 
• Got to talk with numerous people from around the world about their experiences of living with and parenting one with a genetic obesity condition. 
• Conversed with numerous people working for awareness organisations and pharmaceutical companies aiming to develop treatments and awareness for genetic obesity conditions!
• Set up a community (a mini society) at the University of Sunderland for individuals living with invisible disabilities while studying at University of Sunderland, at the beginning of the next academic year we will be discussing some changes that we wish to make at the University.
• Become a health champion at a local wellbeing centre, helping to improve the lives of people around me, currently trained  in promoting Emotional Resilience!

Thank you all!

All of the amazing stuff I've been able to do is because of the confidence that my readers give me to keep promoting for these horrible conditions, conditions that impact families, friends, colleagues and most importantly the individual diagnosed with it. If at least 1  of my, almost, 10,000 readers has taken something from my blog then I am doing something right! Thank you so much for being there for me, continuously reading my blog, giving me motivation and support and I can only say that I am SO excited to continue this blogging journey with you as there are lots of exciting things going on at the moment that I will HAVE to tell you all about at some point ;) 

Lovs of love,

Katherine xx

Busy Bee: What I've Been Up To!

Good Afternoon you lovely people!

It's been so long since I last did a post that I've rewritten this several times because I just wasn't getting into the swing of it. I am pretty disappointed in myself for not continuing to blog but honestly I just haven't had much time to myself whatsoever! I'm pay to be blogging agin though and I've got a fair few posts ready to write for the next fee weeks, so lets get on with this one which will basically just been a roundup of what I've been up to recently!

As per the main reason I haven't been blogging is university, I've just finished my second year and will be going into my last year come September which don't get me wrong I am super excited about, but at the same time I really don't want to leave! This is a big change for me as I have hated every single place I have studied from primary school through secondary, sixth form and college! Uni is brilliant though and I love it so much. With going into my last year I've been mulling over dissertation topics for the last few months and after having like 9 different ideas I think I have finally found a topic that gels with me and that I'm really passionate and excited to write! Next year will be heavy but so fun so overall I'm looking forward to it and I'm actually quite optimistic about my grades for this year too, so yey! 

Oh the frustrations of a Venflo!

I've had a LOT going on with my health lately, as you can probably gather from the image to the right, so me and Simon have been travelling halfway down the country for tests and things, the hospital appointments are really long and pretty boring sometimes so we are bringing books along with us, games, laptop just to keep up busy. I'm allowed to go for walks between tests so it's not like I'm sat on my butt all day doing nothing. Other than that I have been feeling pretty great lately, our puppy Luna is now letting us sleep until a decent time, usually she gets annoyed at us waking her up! We take her for walks everyday and she is absolutely loving it. So are we!

Like I mentioned earlier not much has been going on other than getting loads and loads of Uni work, revision, placement days, report writing and things to get on with which is all done now thankfully but in our spare time me and Simon have been going out to the cinema, we actually managed to go and see Love, Simon (ironically) on the day it came out in cinemas and Oh My God! That's definitely one of my favourite films I've seen recently, I absolutely love anything romance-ish and Nick Robinson is a fab actor so I just loved the whole thing from start to finish, I then went and bought the book so I'm hoping to read that sometime in the summer. We also went to see Infinity War which was way better than I ever thought it would be! No spoilers obviously, I know people who still haven't seen it, but yeah it was really well worked and considering the amount of different characters coming from completely different movies they gel well together and it is so so so funny in many places. We also went to see Deadpool 2, again awesome but personally I preferred Deadpool the original, in fact I prefer the comics but the movies are still fab, definitely getting all of those on DVD when they come out.

A great book!

I've spent a lot of time reading and taking up a couple of new hobbies. I started reading Pornography by Andrea Dworkin. This is a really really good book if you're interested in feminism and topics around patriarchy and pornography, it's heavy reading but very interesting. I've also been reading Fat is a Feminist Issue but Susie Orbrach and this has got to be the most interesting book I've read in a very long time, fatness and social perceptions of fat people have always both fascinated and enraged me and this book captured my attention from the introduction so I would give this a read especially if you're interested in body positivity and fat acceptance type arenas. 

I've recently also picked up a could of new hobbies, because I obviously can't do a huge amount of exercise because of back pain, and a more recent and happy *sarcasm* addition, leg pain. I've started swimming which really relaxes my my back is still a great way to keep fit, me and Simon have also taken up ice skating recently, which is something I struggle at and have to take a lot of breaks with, it tends to take me and hour to get around one lap of the rink and then I'm done after that but still it's a fun day out and something I could hopefully build upon. 

Afternoon walks with Simon and Luna

Finally, I've picked up a few books and CDs and I'm planning to teach myself how to speak German because it's something I've always wanted to do and I'm passionate about, I love the German language and I have no idea why. Hopefully at the end of my third year at Uni I'll be taking a trip over to Berlin or into the Christmas markets in Germany so we will see how that goes, haha! 

So, basically through Uni, movies, books, ice skating and learning German I've been pretty busy but now it's officially summer I am looking forward to getting back into blogging and will hopefully have another post up on Tuesday. 

I hope all of my readers are doing awesome and will see you very very soon! ;) 

Love Katherine   xx