Managing Weight Bias in Healthcare

Good evening everybody!

I hope you're all doing really really well, massive that you to everybody who read the previous post it was an absolute pleasure to write it and the response to it was awesome! Because of such a fab response to the more practical advice based posts I'll be planning a few more of these to come up pretty soon. From this point on I'll be using my summer to do 4 things one being blogging for this account, blogging for my university blogging platform, reading for my dissertation and enjoying my time off with trips, so I'll try to write as much as I can for both of my blogging roles. So, today's post is a pretty important one all in all and I have to stress as a disclaimer that although this blog is aimed at promoting awareness for genetic obesity disorders none of the advice or tips/suggestions I provide are limited to those with genetic obesity. This post in particular will be about how to handle weight bias in healthcare, something that I know fine well that almost every single overweight or obese person in on the planet will have or will face at some point. I know I have done a similar post to this but this one is much more in-depth and should be so much more helpful, hopefully. 

Source: MyGutTellsMe.com

The fact that there is so much weight bias, hatred, prejudice or whatever you like to call it, in society is hard enough to handle at the best of times but the issue becomes more than hard to handle when that weight bias creeps into YOUR healthcare. To really kick off this post I am going to tell you all a story... It was about 9 months ago I went into my local GP surgery, West Cornforth Medical Centre for those who are interested in which medical centres to stay away from, and I had been suffering from a chest infection, sinus infection, the psoriasis in my inner ears had flared up and I had made an appointment to attempt to deal with my chest infection. Being Asthmatic from birth I know how serious chest infections can end up being, I sat and explained my symptoms to the GP manning the surgery at the time and the first thing out of that man's mouth was "May I ask how you are managing your weight?". This isn't an uncommon thing in the lives of obese and overweight people, we deal with this kind of thing on a daily basis in healthcare, then have strangers on the street telling us we are putting a strain on our healthcare system by being overweight... as a side note I will point out that it is not our weight that most often is wasting money or time for healthcare systems around the world, if Doctors were willing to listen openly and actively to our concerns as human beings maybe we wouldn't be wasting appointments constantly poking for new Doctors who understand out current, very personal circumstances. The following are tips and tricks that I have had to develop over the years to get the healthcare that I not only need but that I am entitled to as a human being. 

• Unless your appointment is weight related make it known that you will not be discussing your weight in the appointment - I don't know how many times I have had to do this. I've attended an appointment for dermatology or my chest infection and ended up being asked about my weight. Often times it can make you so angry you want to scream or hit someone but the most appropriate way to deal with that kind of question is simply say "that topic is not relevant to the matter at hand, I am here to discuss my original problem". It is as simple as that and you need not swear, shout or get upset. As long as you are confident in how you handle the doctor and remember that if it wasn't for people using their services they don't get paid, so make the most of your time at the Doctors office by only speaking about what you need to. 

• If your weight is brought up again, without you explicitly discussing or asking about it, leave - Again, unless the appointment was weight related, and you are asked about your weight repeatedly, leave. You have not wasted your time to be hounded by questions regarding your lifestyle which may not be directly related to the problem you are presenting with. I fully understand that weight does play a role in many other health complications but if you are aware  your problem is weight unrelated then leave. I had to do this with the situation with my chest infection, the matter was pushed by the Doctor so I left. I ended up making another appointment later in the week and specifically requesting another doctor who was much more objective. 

• Second opinion - This is a lead on from my last point. If your doctor is blatantly telling you that you health concern is weight related and you feel he or she may be incorrect then get yourself a second opinion and ask for an extended appointment to fully explain your concerns. Your health should be number one priority to all doctors but sometimes it isn't, often times doctors can be too focused on skin deep issues and associate everything with visible issues such as weight concerns. If you're not comfortable with your Doctor's decision, make an appointment at a later date and ask for a second opinion, it doesn't hurt and you might get a different or the same answer but at the least you have tried to ask. If it feels wrong keep asking, keep pushing for answers because you have been in your body all of your life and you know when something is wrong, a Doctor doesn't have that intimate knowledge of your body, this is especially true of those with genetic obesity problems as many doctors do not understand these conditions. 

• Make Leaflets - This is something that I have had to do for a long time and I know other parents and people with genetic obesity conditions have done also. I have created an information sheet and a leaflet outlining what genetic obesity condition I have, what it is, what it means for me and what medications I can and cannot take. I often find that doctors do not read my notes which puts a serious barrier between myself and and good quality healthcare as they often treat me as the average oversight individual which is absolutely not the case. If you have complex healthcare needs I would highly recommend making information sheets and leaflets that tell your doctor everything he or she needs to know, especially if you will be working closely together in terms of your health. Often I do this when I get a new Gynaecologist, dermatologist or GP because they simply do't know about my genetic condition. Make those Doctors read the leaflets, make them understand YOUR healthcare needs because after all YOU are the most important person in that room when you have an appointment. 

So those are my main tips for dealing with weight bias in healthcare on a day-to-day basis. Eventually you will find a doctor who truly understands you it just might take time. Often you have to wade through all of the rubbish to find some treasure. I hope you have found these helpful and I will leave you with some parting wisdom:

Doctors do not know everything! You have been in your body longer than most doctors have been practising, you know yourself and your body so trust your gut!

You are a human being who is entitled to care, good health and supportive healthcare professionals. You can always make a complaint if you feel you've been treated unfairly. 

Bringing a dictaphone to your appointments can be a godsend, especially for those with chronic illnesses or memory troubles, dictaphones are a lifesaver.

You never EVER have to accept the words of one single doctor. There are many more who are willing to give you a second opinion. 

If your problems are weight related you are entitled to ask for psychological support to manage your emotions during a difficult time, even if those psychological problems are caused by your weight. Being overweight or bees is a stress on your mental health too!

Bring someone else along with you, its a lot less scary if you have someone you know will support you next to you during any appointment. 

I hope this has helped you and I shall be back sometime soon, once I have more posts ready to go that is! :) 

Katy xx

Hate Free Zone: How I Cope with Hurtful Comments

Good evening all,

Image from Google.com

I hope you're all well and having a good day, the weather has been beautiful lately here in the UK so we have all been making the most of it. I had mentioned in a previous post that I had a number of other posts planned such as managing toxic friendships and such but a couple of days ago I had a bad experience. I woke up and did what i do everyday after waking myself up properly, I checked my email for my university, personal and blogging mail accounts and all was good except I had received a rather nasty email from someone who was clearly attempting to keep themselves anonymous. Usually I don't get a massive amount of emails on my blogging email account I've had some people talk to me and thank me for blogging so honestly and some women who have shared their stories about managing their weight and all of the people I've spoken to have been lovely up until today. The email I got today basically told me that what I was doing, what I had to say was pointless, I don't want to discuss everything that was said because it was absolutely vile and nobody should have to listen to or read that again, this blog is a safe space for larger bodied people and those with genetic obesity conditions.

I have been given so much support from so many amazing people since I mentioned this email online and I can't thank everybody enough but it was the mother of another warrior of genetic obesity who inspired me to write this post. I have experienced this kind of abuse all through my life, just as I am positive other oversight and obese, not just hose with genetic obesity have, and as much as this horrid person's words were upsetting I would like to share with you all how I cope when I have abuse directed towards me. 

• Stop obsessing - I struggled with this a lot when I was a child,  I would have something shouted at me in public and for the rest of the week, literally, I would spend every single waking minute torturing myself with the words that had been directed towards me until I started to believe them. One day I had been at College and someone had shouted something at me and I was so tired that day and so busy that I just smiled and walked away. I wasn't about to waste my energy that I could use working on assignments or trying to build up my own confidence by obsessing over a strangers words who didn't  know me whatsoever. Once I made the decision to smile and walk away the guy looked so confused and just mumbled something and he never shouted anything at me again despite me seeing him quire regularly in college. 

• I talked about it with people who understand - Throughout comprehensive school I had one particular friend, who is now an ex friend, who would not stand up for anybody but herself. She would regularly see me being berated at school and never said or did a single thing to stop it or make me feel better. When I started to surround myself with different people I felt so much more comfortable going to those people just to have a rant and get it off my chest, lots of swearing was usually involved, lost of shouting and usually I end up laughing at the stupidity of the people being involved. It does definitely help to offload to someone else who will listen then have a laugh about it!

•  I challenge them - I know this is extremely difficult to do for so many people but even  if you do it once it can make you feel so so much more empowered. I used to challenge people to shut up, tell them I would do this that or the other to them if they continued and as soon as they saw they were getting a negative reaction out of me they would carry on calling me names or hitting me and so on. Now when someone says something about or to me and I have the chance I am more mature and rational about it, I once asked someone what had gone so badly wrong in their lives that they had to be so abhorrent to a complete stranger and they literally didn't have an answer other than bright red cheeks and ears for me to look at. Other times when I can't be that bothered with people I will try and out do them with my vocabulary, I can almost guarantee that anybody who had the nerve to should rude words at someone in public is not very well educated either in qualifications or morals so try to confuse them where you can. It may sound mean but it is quite funny. The key to this is trying to deflate the commentator without provoking a negative reaction, ignoring them also works very well. 

•  Change how you view yourself - If you constantly listen to those awful comments, dwell on them and start to believe them you will never ever change how you feel when those comments come around again, which they will because we live in a society where fatness is despised, thinness is admires and aspired to and we cannot change that fact anytime soon. What we can change is our opinions of ourselves. Around 18/19 years old I started looking in the mirror every single day and telling myself 2 things that I was happy about one for my body and one for my personality. i started by telling myself that I had lovely eyes, because I do, and that I am a brilliant worker, because I am. Those 2 things everyday ld to 4, to 6 to 10 things I can list off that I am positive about. Eventually when you get those comments they start to roll off your back because why should I care about someone who things I am unattractive when I am a good friend, or really good at writing essays, I have a great bum and a pretty face. Eventually it becomes more important what you think of yourself than what anybody else can say to you to bring you down, because you will forget what was said 2 days ago and look in that mirror to see how freakin' amazing you are right now.

This might not have ben the most helpful post in the world, and these things I do to cope might not work for you but I can't stress how important it is for you to start viewing yourself as worthy, valued and relevant and stop obsessing over little comments that will not matter in 3 days never mind 3 weeks. Your mental health and self-perception is way more important, because the people who love you and care for you would tell you that nasty people aren't worth a second of your time. Life is too short. If anybody needs or wants to talk please go to the contact me page, find your favourite way to chat and send a message because I will always be here to talk, listen and laugh with you. 
Now get yourself to the closes mirror and compliment yourself ladies and gents! Have a wonderful evening. 

Katy xx

The POMC Series: A Partner's Perspective

Hello everybody!

Earlier this week myself and Simon celebrated our 3 year anniversary of our relationship together, there have been many ups and downs in our relationship but we truly love each other and I wanted to take this opportunity to develop a post that I've been meaning to do for a long time. When I started this blog Simon asked me how he could help. This is his contribution, he has chosen to write and article for the blog outlining what it is like being in a relationship with someone who has a genetic obesity condition, and I myself could not be more grateful and proud of him. I hope you all enjoy his perspective and the next instalment of The POMC Series. Here goes...

"When a person is born into the world, they never have a choice in the cards they hold. Hair colour, the colour of ones eyes, even down to their individual personalities, nobody ever gets their say on what they want. This is no exception when it comes down to medical issues, issues that can be, or is, the bane of our existence. Personally, Asthma is my Achilles heel, one which has affected my whole life (Thank you, asthma!) yet it is a condition which I will never hope to submit to. However, there are some people in this life who really suffer much more that what we could ever comprehend, ones which we could never hope to understand unless we walk in their shoes. This post aims to shed a perspective in the life of my long-term partner, Katherine Simpson. 

The first, and best, picture I ever saw of this gorgeous woman

Me and Katy (her preferred name) have met under weird circumstances but we have that chemistry that just simply took off. No idea how she puts up with my randomness but that’s respect for you! We have had many dates out, however, it wasn’t long until I noticed problems with the way Katy was walking. She needed to stop on occasion and this only escalated the more I’ve been with her. Katy mentioned early early in our relationship that she suffered from POMC, Lordosis and a very unique genetic coding which is beyond my understanding. I have attended multiple doctors appointments and assessments as support and even medical professionals struggle with understanding what really makes Katy tick.

From my understanding, Katy suffers from a what-do-you-ma-call-it genetic deficiency in which her metabolism is permanently off. Because the body assumes that it is starving, fat is biologically formed and stored as a back-up energy source, not a great understanding as I mentioned but I wanted to write this without Katy giving me any direction so as to you you all what I see of this condtion. Due to this nature, the body can never truly function properly and this causes Katy to go up in weight. Newcastle RVI and Addenbrooks, Cambridge, are able to explain to a degree, and its such a difficult thing knowing that the one you love do dearly is not able to get treatment or help for an awful condition. Operations, some drugs and even gym has not worked; I can attest to how hard this sweet woman works, only changing shape but not losing weight whatsoever. I have experienced Katy suffer from an ovarian cyst which further compounds how much exercise and activities she can participate in. It is so upsetting to listen to your partner apologise for being who they are, because a medical condition stops them doing things they they desperately want to. 

Personally, I encourage Katy to the best of my abilities to rest and take breaks, yet she always felt guilty that she cannot have a normal life like everybody else in society. Memories with her are much better than distance she can walk and I have bad  short term memory anyway so there is no likelihood I would remember how far we travel anyway! Walking around places like Newcastle and the Metrocentre has always been a struggle, 10 minutes of walking puts a huge strain on her back, legs and pelvis. She is always hungry and finds it very difficult to manage that, she can eat a bigger portion than me and be hungry again minutes later as if she has never eaten at all!, any deviations can physically knock her sick. This is a medical attribute which I am wholly in the dark about and I am still learning more each day. 

I do feel empathy that Katy, no matter how much effort she tries, will just continually struggle. As her supportive partner, we will fight tooth-and-nail for medical and practical solutions but there are very limited channels open. Aspects of our life together have been negatively affected, I can’t express the pain you feel when you are walking down the street, hand-in-hand, with a woman you see as truly beautiful when she gets some disgusting comments shouted at her from afar. You want to go up to them and tell them the whole story but some individuals do not comprehend other individuals circumstances. Because of this, Katy’s confidence with being around others is shot; I wish she could see herself as the beautiful woman I see her as. A medical condition should be no reason whatsoever to make people feel isolated from the rest of modern society. Despite the medical flaws, her conditions does not own her, she aims to own it!!

One of our best nights together at Russell Howard

When I first met Katherine, it was a first for being with someone with such debilitating medical conditions. I was petrified when her cyst flared up two years ago, now I’m so relaxed she jokes that I’m too relaxed! Truth is, If I cannot compose myself to be of help, I should not be a lover at all. I am not size-ist so I do not judge on weight. However, I have have learnt so much about her and myself throughout the three years of us being together. I have adapted to Katy’s needs and as long as we make preparations, we still enjoy days out, even with back pains and struggles and my asthma! My general rule of thumb on looking after people is this;

• Whoever it is you are with, Love them 120%. Yeah, time management is hard, yet, everyone cares for their love. The addition of unorthodox medical conditions are no exception.

• Always keep calm. Managing tasks and looking after Katy is challenging but we always got there in the end. Patience can be low but do not snap and always try and communicate.

• Never go in a relationship if you are not willing to commit. A no-brainer, this one!

• Take time to understand your partner and what makes them tick. They will undoubtedly feel uncomfortable with themselves and they are humans too. No different to the rest of us!

• People can be abusive, what do they contribute to life anyway? You and your partner will be 100% better people than what bullies will ever be. 

People are still people, those with these medical conditions challenge life in hardcore mode, only strong souls can cope, I don’t believe things in life are given to you unless someone, somewhere knows you can cope. Katy copes so well. It is a strain on our relationship at times because I just want to help her but I know I am limited, if I could wave a wand and change things for her I would. Anybody who cares for someone with a long-term condition who loves them would change it for them. The only thing I can suggest for those living with, caring for and loving people with genetic obesity is be there for them and love them and make amazing memories with them, because just like everyone else on the planet, people with genetic obesity conditions are still people and I will always love my amazing partner and accept her for who she is."

By Simon Steel

And there you have it. My wonderful partner wrote those beautiful words as he writes everything else in his life, with passion and meaning. I hope you all found this post enjoyable and enlightening, I am off to give my fella a massive cuddle!

Katy xx

100th Post - Appreciation and Thanks

Hi everybody!

Image from google

I hope you're all doing well today and making the most of your Monday. So today's post is my 100th post on this blog! It seems to have gone by so quickly and I've had the best time so far writing posts and putting out content for you guys. When I decided to shift the purpose of this blog up a little I knew I would be keeping up the lifestyle aspects and some other aspects of the blog previously but it would be more heavily intertwined with raising awareness for POMC as you all know. Since that shift the reception of this blog, the support I've received from all of my amazing readers has been amazing and I've been able to make some lovely new friends from all around the world!!
I was terrified of the reception I would get by telling my story but I knew how important it would be for all of the other people out there who are either struggling with their weight, long-term condition of genetic obesity conditions, and I am astounded everyday of love love and support given, I've been able to help many people, my email has been relatively non stop since last year! Please keep them coming if you have any questions or want more information please ask, as I always say every little helps in the way of raising awareness for so many misunderstood, heavily stigmatised and awful genetic obesity disorders. 
I thought I thought I would share with you some of the amazing things I have had the opportunity to get involved in thanks to this blog and so many supportive people around the world!

My Invisible Disabilities and Disorders
Community as UoS!

• Took part in an interview with a journalist from the University of Sunderland - nothing came of said interview which was hurtful but still it was a great experience to take part in that I am glad I agreed to.
• Met with the, then, president of the Student's Union to help set pans into motion of a day of rooting awareness for genetic obesity conditions as the University of Sunderland. 
• Got to talk with numerous people from around the world about their experiences of living with and parenting one with a genetic obesity condition. 
• Conversed with numerous people working for awareness organisations and pharmaceutical companies aiming to develop treatments and awareness for genetic obesity conditions!
• Set up a community (a mini society) at the University of Sunderland for individuals living with invisible disabilities while studying at University of Sunderland, at the beginning of the next academic year we will be discussing some changes that we wish to make at the University.
• Become a health champion at a local wellbeing centre, helping to improve the lives of people around me, currently trained  in promoting Emotional Resilience!

Thank you all!

All of the amazing stuff I've been able to do is because of the confidence that my readers give me to keep promoting for these horrible conditions, conditions that impact families, friends, colleagues and most importantly the individual diagnosed with it. If at least 1  of my, almost, 10,000 readers has taken something from my blog then I am doing something right! Thank you so much for being there for me, continuously reading my blog, giving me motivation and support and I can only say that I am SO excited to continue this blogging journey with you as there are lots of exciting things going on at the moment that I will HAVE to tell you all about at some point ;) 

Lovs of love,

Katherine xx

My Reflections: 10 Things I've Learned in 10 Years!

Good Evening everybody,

I hope all is well with everybody and you're all taking care of yourselves. This past couple of weeks has been pretty difficult for us as a family, something that you should know about us is that we adore dogs. Any breed, size, age, ailment or temperament, we will take them all and this week our beloved Bullmastiff dog Bella passed away, my whole family is devastated obviously, and we all need some time to get over it because she was simply amazing and she was like a person in a dog's form.  I've also started back at university and I'm properly in the swing of things now, looking forward to assignments and praying as hard as I can to avoid drama but that's clearly not working at the moment haha!

The past couple of weeks I've been doing a lot of reflections, looking at my life, my attitude and things I've been through, I've been thinking of making some changes and looking into the possibility of maybe moving house at some point but nothing will be rushed. So, all of that reflections led me to think about everything I have learned form my experiences and wow was I surprised to say the least! We go about our daily lives spilling out the wisdom we've learned to people who need it, want it or who just will listen to it but we never really stop to think "where did that come from?" or "what led me to this?". Therefore I would like to share some of the rings I've learned with you and maybe some experiences that led me to these points. 

It's okay to have no clue what you want to do with your life - This can be an issue for a lot of people to be honest and I've had friends and ex-friends who simply have no idea what they want or can do with their qualifications and experiences but to some extent that's okay. There are people with numerous degrees who still have no idea what they want to do, but sometimes if you just take it a day at a time and just try and enjoy what you're doing as you do it then things will usually fall into place. I must say if you don't enjoy whatever it is that you're doing then you need to leave it, even if that's a relationship or a job just get out because life is far too short to waste being unhappy. 

Not having a boyfriend/girlfriend in school, college or uni isn't the worst thing - For many people this can be pretty much a confidence killer, just as being virgin through school or not going to any crazy parties can make you feel like a loser, not having a boyfriend/girlfriend throughout school can be a major confidence killer. It's not the be all and end all of everything though, think of it this way the more time you spend swooning over a guy/girl the more you are doing yourself a disservice, you would be focusing on YOU! Learning your own boundaries, finding new and fun hobbies, time with friends and family, working harder at school and getting better grades is an amazing achievement. Also most people in school who say they have a BF/GF that they love will likely split up as they aren't mature enough* at that point to hold a relationship down AND those people saying they have lots of awesome sex... yeah? No, they usually aren't and even if they were nobody is amazing at sex the first time they have it, so stop worrying!

Me being a happy and semi-confident person!

Staying true to yourself makes you a much happier person - I can't say much about this one as it is what it says on the can. If you are true to yourself and take part in the things that you like, if you hang around with the people you love, listen to good music, watch awesome movies and wear the soothes you are comfortable in then you will have a much better life, nobody wants to be stuck in clothes they can't stand, listening to God-awful music with people they don't get on with do they? Exacly! I actually learned this when I hit 18 because I had been trying so so hard to fit in at college with the girls in my class and I just kind of realised one morning while the girls talked about sex positions, modern music I had no idea about and what they were doing at the weekend that I thought "my god I'm 18 trying to be 16 and I would be happier at home this weekend with a book, completed coursework, candles on an laughing with my Mam and Nana" so that's what I did and I was totally bloody happy with it!

Making time for friends and family, even if you're super busy or stressed, is usually **always worth it - I included this one because a few weeks ago I met up with my oldest and greatest friend Leanne (Leanne, if you're reading this I still can't believe we have been friends for 10 years!). She signed herself up for the 3 years of gruelling mental torture known as university, although our courses are very different we do know, and anyone else who tries super hard to do well at uni, that uni takes up a high amount of our time and can be difficult to arrange get togethers but she told me that she always made times for her friends and family which is something I struggled with, if i have work that usually comes first so I don't stress about it, but lately I've been arranging more time out with friends, family and  generally just for myself too because honestly it's a welcomed break away, the work isn't going anywhere but time with friends and family is so precious.

People are cruel/assholes/ignorant... at EVERY age - Can't express how many times I want you to read and re-read that back because it's so true, there are so many nasty, cruel people out in that work that it's impossible to shield yourself away from them so growing a thick skin is essential, I'm still working on mine so I am in no position to preach at all but my God what I have definitely helps! Nastiness and childish behaviour doesn't stop at a particular age, it isn't just reserved for children, some of the most digesting comments I've ever received have been from young and older adults... Imagine a child's vocabulary with more swears basically. This kind of this does need to be ignored if it's nothing too serious but discrimination and ignorant comments need report in in the right circumstances such as at work or in a public situation if there is anyone available to report it to. Keep yourself right and safe at all times thought. Also as a side note to this one, if you have friends then they, even after a long time and lots of memories can still turn their backs on you and vice versa. 

Believing in your own strength and abilities is essential if you want to do anything in this world - This one for me, is pretty much the follow on the the above point, hence the structure of this post. If you are going to meet assholes at every stage in your life then you're going to meet barriers to what you're wanting to do, you'll need to overcome barriers and fight for what you think is right. A recent problem with my consultant who diagnosed my POMC has fought me this mores than ever; if you spend your whole life thinking that you can't do something or that you're not good enough then that's all you will ever be because you will never go outside of your comfort zone or gain confidence. If, however, you work hard and believe that you can be do something, even if it is as simple as talking to someone over the phone to order something or ask something then you have taken that step to increasing you confidence, each time you do that it will get easier, you will know that you can talk to someone on the phone and then on to the next challenge it is! If you think that you do have the strength to carry on when you're having a stressful day then you will get through it and getting into bed at night will be much sweeter. 

Money has no meaning outside of its purpose - I like this one. In fact this one is my favourite because it took me longest to realise to be frank. I didn't have many friends throughout school, the ones I did (excluding a couple) were pretty shitty and made my life hell most of the time, but I was so scared of being alone that I would spend a huge amount of the money I received in trying to buy their affection. I would take them on days out, buy them whatever they wanted, make sure if they didn't have enough money I would give it to them. I have needed fuel money to take friends places and asked for help if they took me out of my way but when they didn't help I let it go because hey that's money they could spend on themselves and I'll manage somehow... But the thing is money has 0 value if it's not being used for its original purpose which is to purchase goods, so all of that money I spent on "friends" didn't miraculously help improve our relationship, it just meant they took advantage of me and some of my friends are still doing that now just not necessarily with money but emotional support. The friends and people that mattered didn't care if I had no money at all, we could have a day in the house baking or cross-stitching or reading or even just sitting in silence and that was enough. I wish I'd known that earlier. 

Working hard always pays off in some way - I promise that this is true! If you work hard at something, even if you're rubbish at it then it'll pay off somehow, it might just pay off because you feel good about yourself for working hard but it definitely pays off, and working hard at something will give you a sense of achievement which in turn definitely helps building confidence and self-esteem!

Nothing comes before your health - This is something that I learned far too late in life. Something to know about me is that I went to an absolutely awful comprehensive school, the pupils there were evil, the teachers sub-par and didn't care about anything that was going on. I remember that after being diagnosed with POMC when I first started comprehensive school that my parents got a nurse form the RVI into school to explain to the class and teachers what exactly was wrong with me, one fact being that I would need to eat regularly and drink more, one rule in our school was no drinking in class so I remember getting my water bottle taken away from me and one particular teacher ripped up my toilet pass (a card that lets you go to the toilet whenever you need, no questions asked). My Mam went up to the school and went crazy with the teachers after that because by the time I got home I had held my need to use the toilet so long that a couple of days late i developed a kidney infection and I was so dehydrated I couldn't talk properly. It was then (in year 10 when I was around 15) that I literally vowed never ever to let somebody get me into that situation because no 60 minute lesson about WW2 is more important than my health. The same goes for you, nothing is ever more important than your health, so if you're very ill, mentally needing  break or physically unable to do anything then you have to take that time away, schedule it in if you have to to make sure you get everything done that you need doing but always make sure you have good health because you can't do very much without that on your side. 

You have got to think of yourself - For a lot of people this can be pretty difficult myself included because some people have a natural instinct to look after other people before themselves. I suppose that this point is the accumulation of all of the other points all rolled into 7 seemingly unimportant words. I don't mean that you should take being selfish to the extremes but I do mean that in everybody's life there comes a time when you simply have to put yourself first. There are so many reasons people can choose to put themselves first, some people do it when they're sad, others when they're angry or stressed or distressed or happy; I find that putting yourself first should be a running theme throughout your life, it should involve self-care and support; I put myself first by not allowing people to take advantage of me the way I used to and taking time to get to know my limits and boundaries so that I can stop people getting in the way of my happiness, if someone is going to cause upset or difficulties in my life then get rid of them because like I said at the beginning... life is simply too short. 

Our gorgeous Belle <3

So, there we have it, those are the 10 most important things I've learned in 10 years (from 12 years old to 22) and I hope you guys have really enjoyed reading this post because I loved writing it! Please come back next time and have an awesome week until then! As silly as it may seem to some, I am dedicating this post to our beautiful dog Bella Savage who passed away 08.02.2018, she really was the best friend a person could hope for and she will be more then missed. 

Love, Katy xo

Staying Positive: See the Silver Lining!

Hey everyone!

I hope you're all doing really well, and the first month of your New Year is going awesome! I'm writing this post today because I'm aware the past couple of weeks have been full of emotion for people in my family, and all of my friend groups in some way as many of my friends and most of my immediate and extended family have some pretty serious health problems, I know these issues have been getting my loved ones down and they are struggling to see the bright side of life and to me that is just awful to see. 

It's so important when you have ill health to look at the positive things you have, for example yesterday I spent the day with my best friend and her partner, Nana and Simon baking all day, we both made lovely cakes and if you want to see mine head over to my personal instagram and it's the most recent cake picture! I made a beautiful white chocolate lemon drizzle cake and it smelled amazing! Me and my friend can't eat our cakes, she seemed quite frustrated at this and admittedly when you love cake and know you can't have it or taste what you've made it is very annoying, I can't eat my cake because it isn't worth it in my opinion, if I am going to eat something less healthy than usual I will wait until there is something that truly takes my fancy; albeit those times are few and far between but it makes me appreciate  and enjoy it more for waiting. The thing is everybody on earth has their own cross to bear in terms of their health but something I think is so essential when dealing with your lifestyle when you're chronically ill or have a long term/lifetime illness is that you've got to see the positive side of things even if sometimes it feels like you're fighting a losing battle.

When I first made changes to my diet it was super difficult and after years not not eating very well, or at least as well as I should've been, I was miserable for a long time because I thought I had to cut out foods that I love, like cakes and bacon but I did a lot of research and I've found so many different cake recipes that barely use any sugar and taste really good, most of those are vegan cakes which although they may not be ad indulgent as some other cakes hey I still get to eat cake! Plus vegan diets are recommended to some people with PCOS to relieve symptoms so I'm in a way being a little healthier than I would be if I made a Mary Berry cake. In terms of bacon just changing how its cooked and the kind of bacon makes a huge difference to a diet, I can still have things I loved but they are more strictly moderated and cooking techniques and products use to make my meals are slightly different. That is one of the ways that I tend to se the positive with my dietary changes because that was one of the most difficult things to cope with as it was such a major change for me as I like routine and at the time didn't eat a lot of different things.

Another positive thing is that although I can't eat my cakes I get to have so much fun baking them and trying out recipes, Simon is my personal tester and it's so awesome watching people eat and enjoy the food that you've made, the smells are wonderful the colours and textures are awesome! One of my favourite quotes, I don't know who by, is "life is not about wiring for the storm to pass, its about learning to dance in the rain" and that really resonates with me and I would definitely suggest that others remember this quote when you're feeling down. Every time something negative happens or you're feeling generally crappy just take a minute to think about the positives of the situation.

Image from Google.com

For example I had a friend a while ago who started on a treatment that involved daily injections, her way of seeing the positive is that she was scared of needles and at least after the treatment she wouldn't be scared anymore because she would get used to the feeling! That's an awesome way of looking at things if you ask me! My Mam has M.E., a basically null immune system, hundreds of allergies, epilepsy and lots more wrong with her which means she doesn't leave the house much, from this she has learned new sills and gotten really involved in arts and crafts, and although her life is a major struggle at times she has still gained a wonderful new hobby from it all.

Seeing the positive in the negative can change your outlook on life massively, honestly I'm planning  few posts within the next month and I'm very excited about them, during the planning of them I've realised how much I have truly changed and how positive my outlook on life is now. I'm hoping that if anyone reading this is feeling down at the moment, for whatever reason, that this little post does help in some way and if you're feeling low because of ill health please just remember that you're still alive, you still have people around you who are happy to see you turn up to work, or school or uni everyday, people who are happy to have you say hello to them or even just people who are happy that you managed to get out of bed this morning, that's an achievement in itself and I really mean that. In the next month I've to have a couple more posts up and while I was planning them it's been a real shock to look through some of my old stuff and see how much I have truly changed and now much more positive my life is now.
If every anybody needs some support or to talk please go to my Contact Me page and reach out to me because I will ALWAYS be willing to listen if you need to talk. I truly hope this post has helped someone out there because even the smallest of positives can make a huge difference.
Please be safe everybody and remember to see those silver linings!
Love,
Katy xo

Love & Our Bodies - For Plus Size Peeps!

Good evening all!

Image found on google, taken from general
pinterest thread

I'm sorry about the short absence but university has been absolutely crazy, there were a few hiccups with trying to get all the modules sorted for people and so far we have 4 assignments and presentations and things to do so it has been mad here. In my last post I mentioned that my mental health had not been the best it could be, I think I made that apparent in the way I was writing which shocked me when I re-read it once I began to feel stronger mentally, that's the first time I've ever looked at my feelings on paper and even in the tone of the writing it scared me, I've therefore made the decision to seek help from an organisation referred to me by the doctor, hopefully it won't take too long and I will keep you updated on that as well.

Today's post to get back to it is all about dating an relationships when you are a plus size person, be it male or female, LGBTQIA+, heterosexual, black, white, tall, short and everybody inbetween. I've chosen this topic because it's been 2 and a half years of being with Simon and almost a year of being engaged and thinking back to how I was feeling before I met him I was miserable and would've loved someone to tell me that everything would work out and to chill out. Anywho, on to the bones of the matter.

Before meeting Simon I was extremely bitter, I'd had a number of awful experiences with men and some very heartbreaking scenarios with other people. I hated couples, anything to do with sex, imtimacy and desire, I was jealous of friends and caused arguments because of it, a lot of that I regret now but the issue ran deeply for me because I craved it. All of it. As a teenager I was painfully aware that society did not promote my body type, never mind as ideas beauty, but as beautiful at all, in fact a lot of media, social media and average Joe's on the street made it clear that my body type was to be avoided, nobody would want a fat lass. That's what the kids at school told me and after hearing something so many times you begin to believe it. This kind of attitude leads to low self-esteem, body image issues, a lack of confidence and internalised ideas about beauty, this ideology of of the perfect body is extremely harmful yet permeates almost every aspect of our lives. If you're a bigger person you're automatically not good enough or so society tells you, ever heard someone say "you're pretty/handsome for a big girl\boy" yeah that phrase right there, although it may be meant in the best of intentions it still implies that you're being compared to the ideal standard of beauty. The first thing I've learned is that you absolutely need to get that concept out of your head, there will always be people telling you that you're not good enough for whatever reason, but honestly, why take something as menial into account as looks? Beauty didn't help you get to where you are now, having lots of compliments and men/women falling at your feet didn't help you become the person you are. Your experiences and thoughts, your family and friends, opinions and beliefs are the things that shape you, to some your looks will be but a bonus. The human body is a miracle and quite frankly to base an opinion on something purely on aesthetics alone is shallow, you wouldn't base your opinion of someone else purely on how they look so why do it to yourself? 

With over 8 billion people on the planet is it not irrational to believe that nobody would find you attractive, nor would they find anything at all about you attractive or want to be with you? You might be funny, academic, athletic, artistic, bubbly, quirky, introvert or outgoing and there will be somebody in this world, in your country, possibly even in your home town who will like at lest one of those traits, someone will love your  messy hair, your chubby cheeks, your belly rolls. Someone will crave to have your bingo wings wrapped around them at night keeping them extra warm or big thighs resting on them. Somebody desperately wants a girl who isn't "media beautiful" a woman who carries a few extra or a whole load of extra pounds. Those people out there will be feeling the same as you, that because what they like and find attractive isn't usually what is expected that something about them is wrong or faulty and it's not. The phrase "whatever floats your boat" is never more appropriate. 

However, before you can start getting yourself out on the dating scene or even just out on the scene you need to remember that the image of beauty is given to us by other people, not us. Overweight and obese people are just that, they are people who deserve and crave love and affection, there are obese people out there who unbelievably satisfying love lives, obese people who have lonely love lives, people who are in extremely happy and very unhappy relationships, just like there are people of average and petite sizes who have amazing sex lives and relationships and others who want to improve theirs. Sometimes you just have to deal with the wait and hang in there until somebody comes along, it may not be the love of your life, or it could be, but hell! You'll have fun along the way as long as you keep reminding yourself that you're a beautiful, miraculous human being who deserves love just as much as any other beautiful, miraculous human being. 

If you are a person who suffers from a genetic obesity disorder there is something else I feel I need to tell you before I continue, never EVER feel like you have to justify yourself!! Do you ever hear a slimmer individual saying "oh I'm sorry I'm so small it's genetic"? No. Unless you feel like you need to let a potential partner know the ins and outs of your condition or unless you're talking to your doctor/someone you're comfortable around you do not have to discuss it or give reasons for your size. This is very important, I remember sending Simon a text when we first started talking, a missive text outlining the fact that I have some kind of condition that makes me fat and if he wants to leave me he is welcome to, he didn't obviously and he found it astounding that I would feel the need to disclose that and his reply was "I don't care that you're a big bodied woman, I like you and I don't want to ever lose your friendship". 

Another point I have to make is that once you do find someone, a relationship, friend which benefits or even if you find that you've started to love yourself then you need to just enjoy that time. Just enjoy being happy and loved, desired and appreciated (hopefully appreciated, if not kick that lady/dude to the kerb because you deserve better). Don't waste time looking at other women or men and comparing yourself to them, I've cried so many tears thinking that Simon was only with me because he felt he was in too deep, that he grew to love my body and didn't actually want me. Things like that can ruin your relationship and send you back down into a spiral or self loathing and degradation, which is not what you need. Learn to accept the fact that your partner is with you because they love you, because they desire you and because you are the one that they want (oh oh oh honey!), sorry little Grease humour for you there. Even if you don't believe it keep telling yourself that and over time, if you stay in a long term relationship then you'll begin to believe it, just like you believed the negative comments you can believe the positive. 

I would also say that you should be aware that obesity and "fatness" is viewed as a fetish for some. The fact that you are a 'fat person' may add to the attraction for them or some other people may be attracted to you purely because of your weight. If you are okay with that then great! Please remember you aren't just an object to be used or drooled over, you still have feelings and don't want to be used (unless that's your thing than you go!). Some people are feeders who get erotic pleasure from feeding their partners so they gain more weight, people who are pushy and insist that you must eat or you would "do this is you really love me" are not good for you, particularly those who have a genetic obesity disorder and you might feel these people are worth avoiding, however an extremely important note is that not all people interested in feeding take it far, the majority of feeders and fat fetishists will take into consideration their partners feelings and thoughts on the matter just as any loving partner would so please don't tar everybody with the same brush as all people are individual. 

So, for tonight I think that is it and I really appreciate it if you've managed to make it to them end because it's been really long winded and I really hope nothing in here has offended anybody, the aim was to help you start thinking differently about your body and yourself as a loveable being. 

See you next time! 

Xo.

Liraglutide: Information and Concerns - The POMC Series

Hello again everybody, 

Stock image from Google.com

I would just like to apologise for the ridiculously late post, there's been so much going on this week it's been mad. I had a second RVI appointment within a month which is very rare for me as I usually get seen twice a year, this was to discuss the drug that I'll be talking about today. It's gotten around to that time of the month again and I'm not going to lie I'm in so much pain I can barely get out of bed and it sucks, other than that I have a skin condition called Acanthosis Nigricans (AN for short) which you only get if you're insulin resistant, the AN for me is on my neck and my upper abdomen directly below my breasts and the skin has dried out and split and resulted in an infection. University is coming up and I've been stationary shopping and preparing myself so, like I say, it's been pretty hectic. 

However, I am back now and today's post will be looking at a possible "treatment" for need of a better word, for POMC, now it's important to note that this drug is absolutely not a cure or a treatment for POMC but I couldn't think of a better word of it at the moment, management I suppose would be a better description actually, but for now I shall get into the post. 

When I was in York taking the call from Professor Farooqi she suggested that because of my rapid weight gain and lifestyle and diet she was concerned about me as a 5 stone weight gain in 9 months is really not good by anybody's standards, she suggested that while I am waiting to be eligible for the Setmelanotide trials (still not eligible at the moment and unsure of when this will be) I should try  another drug called Liraglutide. To be honest her tone of voice when she said "have you ever been offered Liraglutide before?" wasn't something that filled me with hope. You know when someone says something and you know that they know there is a reason you've never been told something like that? Yeah, that's the feeling I got. 

She told me about it, explained that it seems to have worked for people with POMC before and it might be worth giving it a go, obviously I got my hopes right up once again (5th time lucky eh?) and I was so excited to bring my RVI appointment forward to get right on this drug. Before I rushed into anything I decided I would do a bit of research of my own so I wasn't going into the appointment without knowledge, here is what I found. 

Liraglutide also known as Saxenda or Victoza is a drug that was initially developed to be used by those with moderate to severe diabetes and is in the same class as a drug named Byetta, it is derivative of a hormone called GLP-1 which basically stimulates insulin secretion and expands insulin making beta cells in the pancreas. In the beginning the main point of the drug was to drastically cut blood sugar levels and reduce weight in people with diabetes, however after some development the drug is now able to "work on" the MC4R reception, usually faulty in those with POMC which control weight gain and regulation. It was only prescribed for type 2 diabetes until this point, it has since been prescribed to people with POMC and positive results have been seen. Find more information about the drug in general here. The drug itself is very new and a lot of doctors I have spoken t in the last several weeks know very little about it other than the basics. 

Now, obviously I am being given this for weight management as I am not diabetic but I am insulin resistant, those being given this drug for diabetes are given a "normal" dose of the drug usually 1.8mg however people using it purely for weight management are given a DOUBLE dose. Right now, in my head the drug sounds amazing! i can't wait to try it and I'm 100% sure it'll do me some good. However, I also found online that if you have previously been on Metformin, another drug to regulate insulin, and have been intolerant of that, which I was while taking it, you may have an intolerance to Liraglutide, something which dampened my hopes slightly. I was still willing to try the drug though, inroder for the drug to be administered it is one injection each day in the upper arm, thigh or lower abdomen. I would also not be allowed to drink alcohol whatsoever as Liraglutide and alcohol mixed has serious side effects such as increased heartbeat and death. 

Here is where the concerns come in. As I was researching about the drug, as you do, I searched possible side effects and I was so shocked, I will write a list of the possible side effects of Liraglutide in a moment however, the things that caught my eye first is that the FDA, the organisation that approves or disproves drugs has put a back box warning on this drug, meaning that the side effects can in reality cause extremely serious conditions or death resulting from the fuse of the drug. This scared me right away, for obvious reasons, nobody wants to think that a drug that could help them might kill them or cause serious side effects, but because I've taken drugs before that have said side effects could be fatal e.g. Metronidazole antibiotic with alcohol can be fatal, I thought that maybe it was an overreaction. Here is a full list of side effects of Liraglutide:

• Nausea
• Vomiting
• Diarrhoea 
• Constipation
• Upper respiratory tract infection
•  Intestinal and digestive tract problems
• Headaches/migraines
• Sinusitis
• Dizziness
• Back pain
• Flu-like symptoms
• Injection site reactions
• Bloating
• Loss of appetite
• Fatigue

These shown above are common side effects. Less common side effects include:

• Shortness of breath
• Weight gain
• Horse voice
• Lump in the throat
• Throat swelling
• Easy bruising or bleeding
• Infections
• Increased thirst
• Palpitations/Arrhythmia
• Less frequent urination

The final side effects as listed below are the most serious kind of effects resulting from the use of Liraglutide:

• Pancreatitis
• Pancreatic cancer
• Thyroid cancer
• Kidney or liver problems resulting in the need for dialysis
• Death

Up until recently thyroid cancer had only been reported in rats, however humans are now presenting with it more frequently than before, I have decided that I am not going to include any statistics about the drug i.e. how many people have been diagnosed with what side effect because honestly there is so much contradicting evidence online, one report said 19% of patients presented with pancreatic cancer, another said only 1-3% of patients presented some kind of cancer after treatment. One report said people using it for weight loss have lost up to 10 stone and another said the best weight loss seen on Saxenda was only 19lbs in 56 weeks. For me the information is far too jumbled, mixed and contradictory, so until I can properly find out about the real statistics I will not post anything that may not be accurate, up-to-date or correct. It is also important to note that earlier I mentioned that those using Saxenda for weight loss purposes will receive a double dose, these side effects are laid out for those receiving a single dose, therefore it is to be assumed that side effects are more likely to occur when taking double dose of 3mg (according to my doctor at the RVI).

It is pretty obvious to me that this drug is extremely serious and is nothing to be taken lightly, the side effects could end up killing somebody taking it, I have a history of cancer in my family and I'm honestly not sure what to do, if I take it an react badly how many doses before I develop a cancer? Pancreatitis? How long before you see results? Would I need to take a leaf of absence from university? I of I wouldn't be able to work or afford the costs of getting to my hospital appointments as I cannot rely on family to drive me. I'm scared for my health as I cannot afford to gain anymore weight, I'm scared I'll never get to spend my life with Simon and my family, enjoy my time with friends and work in a job I love. I'm scared that my only management option at the moment could be the thing that kills me ultimately. I don't know if I should risk it or not and these are the times I want someone to tell me what to do. I've watched Simon cry because he's scared of losing me to the drug, my condition and such, I've watched my Mam and Nana cry because they can't help me. My head is in bits everyday about this. 

I don't know what to do at the moment but I promised at the beginning of this blog I would keep you all up to date and be as honest as possible about my feelings and how any treatments affect me, I hope you keep reading and please if you get offered this drug for whatever reason think very carefully before jumping right in. 

Thanks for reading and bye for now. 

XO